RJ's Comedy

Posted on 23rd May at 7:55 AM, with 1 note

From my new album, Anatomy of an Overdose. A collection of poems about working in EMS. Any downloads of the album go towards helping send the Salt City Slam team to the National Poetry Slam in Cambridge Mass.

Tagged: #Poetry, #Poem, #EMS, #EMT, #Depressing, #Depression, #writing, #spoken worn, #slam, #poetry slam, #slam poetry, #spoken poetry, #poetry and music, #suicide, #spoken word and music, #anatomy of an overdose, #RJ Walker, #I Do,

Posted on 21st May at 12:11 PM, with 2 notes

Untitled: Semicolon (performance version) →

graybrianthomas:

Semicolon

According to grammarians,

a semicolon is used when

“…the sentence should have ended

but wasn’t.”

There are semicolons in most my previous relationships. Those moments when the relationship should have ended, but didn’t.

With Jessica it was the moment she cheated on me, for the…

Gotta love Gray. Haha

Posted on 20th May at 1:57 PM

Tagged: #spoken word, #poetry, #poem, #slam, #poetry slam, #slam poetry, #poetry slam team, #salt city slam, #salt lake city, #salt lake, #Utah, #writing, #comedy, #lol, #activism, #passive activism, #funny, #satire, #social comentary,

Posted on 10th May at 12:47 PM, with 4 notes

View high resolution

Do you control or perpetuate.

Tagged: #transcendentalism, #hot rod, #mechanics, #anger, #philosophy, #quote, #quote with picture, #advice, #rat rod, #classic cars, #engine, #driving, #poetry,

Posted on 8th May at 12:12 PM

My Salt City Slam teammate, Ben Barker, spitting his poem, The Blues. This is a poem people.

“In 2003, at the institute of astronomy in Cambridge England, scientists discovered a black hole in the Perseus cluster. It was emitting a B-flat humming. Like the blues.”
Download the album at:

saltcityslam.bandcamp.com

Donate to help get Salt City Slam to the national Poetry slam in Cambridge, Mass. If you donate, we’ll write a poem and dedicate it to you!

feedthemuse.net/saltcityslam

Tagged: #blues, #poem, #poetry, #poetry slam, #slam poem, #the blues, #harmonica, #black hole, #astronomy, #writing, #spoken word, #poetry and music, #audio, #poetry audio, #music, #poetic, #Star gazing, #stars, #depression, #slam poetry,

Posted on 4th May at 7:14 PM, with 1 note

Donate to send Salt City Slam to the national poetry slam! Get a poem written just for you!

www.feedthemuse.net/saltcityslam

Check out Salt City Slam’s album at

saltcityslam.bandcamp.com

Tagged: #poetry, #poem, #slam poetry, #slam, #poetry slam team, #poetry slam, #fundraising, #art, #independant art, #comedy, #stand up comedy, #salt city slam, #salt lake city, #salt lake, #Utah,

Posted on 2nd May at 8:52 AM, with 196,973 notes

yngbld:

sherdoctorlockwho:

I’m a lesbian so i must have a crush on every girl i see.

I have alot of guy friends so i must be fucking every single one of them.

I smile alot, so i must have the perfect life.

I listen to reggae, so I must be a stoner.

My opinion matters, so I must be a bitch.

I’m comfortable with my body, so I get around?

I’m friends with a lot of guys, so I’ve must have hooked up with all of them.

I like to help out, so I must be a suck up.

I’m black, so I must be ghetto.

I’m black, so I must be stupid.

I’m Mexican, so I must be low class.

I’m bisexual, so I must get around.

I’m straight up blunt, so I must be a bitch.

I like to drink, so I must be an alcoholic.

I don’t hang out with guys, so I must be a lesbian.

I cut myself so I must be emo.

I’m bisexual, so none of my girl friends can feel safe.

I laugh and smile, so I cannot be depressed.

I like spending my day at home, so I don’t have any friends

I am gay, so i must be bullied

I am trans, so I must be a freak.

Most of my friends are dudes, so I must be a tomboy.

I’m on Tumblr, so I must have zero friends in real life

I’m a Muslim, so I must be a terrorist

I make alot of mistakes so I must be stupid/retarded.

I strongly defend LGBT so I must be gay.

I’m from a broken family, so I must be a rebel.

I like rasta colors, so I must smoke weed.

I’ve had sex, so I must be a slut.

I’ve made mistakes, so I must be untrustworthy.

I really love him, so I must hold on.

I’m a Filipino, so I must be a maid.

I really love him, so I must be taken for granted.

I’m a Politician, so I must be corrupt.

I’m Blonde, so I must be really stupid.

I’m wearing a black shirt, so I must be emo.

I wear make up, so I must be a flirt.

I make alot of mistakes, so I must be hated.

I am a teenager, so I must be misunderstood.

“Forever reblogg”.

I fucking love this
This is the best post on Tumblr

I’m a white male, so I must stereotype every person I see.

Posted on 1st May at 7:30 PM, with 1 note

Up UP Down Down Left Right Left Right B A 4/30

Last poem of national poetry month! Sort of lost momentum. whatever, I’ll edit it more later. 4/30

.

Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A

By RJ Walker

.

My heart is a loading screen.

Buffering.

A useless waste of time,

Chasing the pot of gold at the end of the progress bar.

.

There are days when I feel like a failure.

It’s as if I woke up in Dark Souls.

A brutal smack down around every corner.

But love is a game you have to play on hard mode,

You just have learn to enjoy the challenge,

Or be crushed by it.

.

On these days, you make me feel like a Gameboy printer.

A useless peripheral nobody wanted

But not today!

Today, I figured out the secret.

Now I’ve got a heart like a title screen.

Just press start.

.

Today I will die a thousand times

And be born a thousand and one

Today I am infinite.

Infinite ammo

Infinite double jumps

Infinite lives

.

I’ve got so many lives

Come live one with me.

We can live it co-op or verses

I don’t care

As long as we stick around for the story mode.

.

Hold me like hit points,

Every party needs a healer

Lets party

I’m partial to the rouge class

The kind that will steal your heart container.

Leave you beeping like a heart monitor.

At least you’ll know what Alive sounds like.

.

Mario Paint me like one of your French girls,

Like we have all the time in the world

To compose a symphony from abstruse items

like mushrooms and geese and air planes.

.

Love me like Aperture Science

Lets do what we must… because we can

I want to see into you

Like my eyes were a portal gun

Be my companion cube.

The cake is a lie,

Some things are too sweet to be true.

.

Because today I found the secret,

The one you also must be using

The cheat code

Up up down down left right left right B A

.

There! I’ve leveled the playing field

Who’s the boss in this boss fight now?

Just like you, I’ve got one hit K.O.s

Infinite master balls,

And maxed out stats.

.

Love is a game we no longer have to play on Hard Mode.

I just wish you could have learned to enjoy the challenge.

If only I had a cheat code

That would turn off cheating.

Tagged: #poetry, #poem, #video games, #konami code, #konami, #writing, #relationship, #love poem, #cheating, #cheat, #gaming, #games, #portal, #pokemon, #gameboy, #dark souls, #hard mode, #love, #mario paint, #RPG,

Posted on 30th Apr at 9:33 PM, with 1 note

Mega Man 4/29

I know what you’re thinking. “Where’s 4/28?” and if you weren’t thinking that before, you are now. And to answer your question, 4/28 was a group piece outline and it’s a private document. sorry. Anyway, here is 4/29. Based on Jesse’s prompt. “What is your greatest flaw.”

Mega-Man
By RJ Walker

We all have our inadequacies
The challenges of the ever ticking machine of life.
The worries of the world are master robots.
Autonomic demons.
Clockwork ghosts that hold you like a father would if he was an anchor.
They demand you drink concrete.
Bend your knee to your master like a slave.
And when the machines of life latch onto my back,
And leech me like an oil spill…
I BECOME MEGA-MAN!

Each difficulty I overcome renders me new power!
I become my weakness so that I may better find strength.
You know what they say,
If you can’t beat them,
Rip them apart from the inside out,
find out how they work and assume their identity!
           Loneliness?
           BOOM! Excluded-in-Jr.-High-School-Cannon!
I know exactly how to make my loneliness feel left out.
He will be too depressed to leave the corner of the classroom
and ask me to be his lab partner.
And I’ll be lighting some pretty girl’s Bunsen burner.

The longer you study bullshit,
The easier it is to recognize.
           VUM! Alcoholic-father-shield!
This passive buff prevents a series of status ailments such as
Alcoholism, Deadbeat, Arrested, or Pregnant!
This shit’s like a cheat-code
I can walk through a whole house party,
Without ever coming down with an accidental case of fatherhood.

I am at my best when things are at their worst!
I am become weakness!
Destroyer of… other opposing weaknesses!

           Anxiety?
           Krakow! Workaholic-bolt!
My anxiety will be too busy working the late shift to trouble me.
           Fear?
           ZAP! Lightning-Flake!
My fear will accidentally forget to show up!

           Girlfriend left me?
I have just the thing!
The longer you are surrounded by bullshit,
The more you get used to the smell.
           PEWPEW! Jaded-Buster!
By far my most used power.
Once belonged to a master robot named HeartBreak-Man.
I pried it from his cold dead body like the cannibal android I am

So basic, so simple, apathy is my mega-buster
My biggest flaw,
My most useful strength.
As if I taught the monkey on my back to sneak into places and steal shit for me!
           PEW PEW! I don’t give a shit about your problems! PEW PEW PEW!
I don’t have to get attached to anyone
When I already have this blaster attached to me.
How many of you would trade the ability to love
For an immunity to depression.
           VVVVVVVVPOWWWWIDON’TGIVEAFUCKCHARGEDSHOT!

A human heart of flesh can only break once,
I like my bionic one better.
I like how it runs on E-Tanks
Instead of love, or whatever cliché metaphor you can think of.
Mechanisms are so easy to repair
Compared to the complicated workings of emotion.

And while the Workaholic-bolt,
or the Gallows-Humor-dart,
or the awkward-conversation-shotgun
might do the trick, they sometimes need to recharge.

But the trusty Jaded-buster
Has infinite ammo.
Yes sir, all you need to stop a master robot,
Is good old fashioned apathy.
PEW PEW PEW!

Tagged: #poetry, #poem, #video games, #video game, #mega man, #megaman, #writing, #introspective, #apathy, #jaded, #napowrimo, #national poetry month, #poetry month,

Posted on 30th Apr at 4:42 PM

This is a F**king poem people. My teammate, Willy Palomo performing his poem Snow and Seraphs. Gives me the chills every time. Listen to the Salt Lake Poetry team album for free at saltcityslam.bandcamp.com

Every track purchase helps get us to poetry slam nationals!

Tagged: #Poetry, #Poem, #Spoken word, #poem, #poetry, #spoken word, #willy palomo, #poetry slam, #slam, #slam poem, #writing, #metaphor, #snow and seraphs, #salt lake, #salt city slam, #poetry and music, #spoken poetry, #poetry audio, #violin, #performance poetry,